Hm…

My buddy Fade sez she isn’t ready to be a grownup.
She’s 23.
I’m 26.
Reading her thoughful entry, it struck me that I am starting to feel like an adult (moving out and working my ass off all day with no summer vacation will do that) but not entirely. Also, there’s a part of me that’s kind of pissed off about that. I’m mentally ready, I think, so where the hell is my One, True Job? Where is my career as a self-supporting film reviewer? Why am I still stuck doing jobs I loathe so I can pay the bills? WHY GOD WHY!?!?!?!?
I am aware, of course, that this is what being a grownup is apparently about – muddling along the best I can. I’m not entirely comfortable (like Fade) with my apparent authority to muck up my life and others’ … but then, that’s not a privelege reserved for adults anymore. I see preteens and teenagers doing their best to do just that on a daily basis. But then, I’m a bit cynical. Teaching will do that to you.
Really, I think it’s teh teaching which makes me feel grown up more than anything else. I spend so much time in a position of authority that it’s hard not to buy into that sometimes.
On the other hand, when I consider the responsibility inherent in, say, being a parent or starting, it makes me run screaming from the “grownup” label I sometimes feel flying at my forehead. Yikes.
Mostly I’d like to be done getting into being a grownup, preferably before I develop an ulcer from juggling six jobs.