Fibro Fog

One of the aspects of fibromyalgia that’s nastiest and hardest to pin down is fibro fog. It’s a sort of mental fog that descends at times over we fibro patients and makes everything a little strange. When it hits me, it’s hard to remember things, to think, to speak, to make decisions. Admittedly, I have some experience with this sort of thing — my allergic reaction to milk and chocolate is very similar — but it’s still unsettling.

I’m still able to write, fortunately, especially if I’m left alone in a quiet place. But dealing with things as they come up becomes difficult and frustrating. I have to devote all my attention to things that normally I could do while multitasking. I have trouble remembering words (although not, interestingly, pictures). For example, my roommate (who does the shopping for the household, because she is awesome) wants me to make a list of the frozen meals I like, but I can’t — I can remember what they look like, what the packaging is like, but not the names. And somehow going to the website for the company to look them up seems overwhelming because I have so much other stuff to do tonight.
Days where I’m in a fog I find myself making lists compulsively because otherwise I can’t remember a damn thing. I also find myself wanting to sort things, to put them away where they belong so I can find them. But more than anything I just want to go to bed, because usually sleeping resets everything (especially if I get a good, long night’s sleep) and I’m okay the next day. At least, I think that’s how it goes. It’s hard to remember.
It’s easy to express the pain and stiffness associated with fibro, but fibro fog is a lot harder to really describe. It’s like that brain fog that settles in when you’re really tired. You can still do things, and really focusing brings genuine clarity, but you have to really focus to do anything, and changes in plans are very disconcerting. Unfortunately there are no pills to make it go away — caffeine just makes me jittery (I had so much earlier today that my hands shook for hours) without dispelling the mists. I just have to tough it out and try not to be too cranky.