The Dark Side’s Real Pull

I’ve been wanting to link this entry by Anna Milton for ages but kept forgetting. Her LJ is friends-only, though, so I got her permission to reprint the gem that made me want to link it in the first place.

The Real Reason Anakin Turned to the Dark Side (Spoilers, needless to say)
When you think about it, the flaws in the ostensive reason behind Anakin’s turn to the Dark Side are not because the idea was poorly thought-out but rather because the real reason is actually more subtextual. Beneath the surface, it all makes sense, my dears.
Consider the following points:
* Anakin seems unsatisfied with the Jedi system and its demands, but eventually turns to a system that uses much harsher methods
* He says he is insulted by not being made a Master after being elevated to the Jedi Council, but soon choses to become an Apprentice again
* An Apprentice who, incidentally, needs to go around on bended knee
* An Apprentice to someone who promptly starts a global regime of total-obedience-or-punishment
* He’s always under someone’s authority in all 6 films
I think there’s a distinct pattern emerging here.
Yes, Anakin turned to the Dark Side because he a big ol’ pushy sub who was dissatisfied with the lack of spankings and discipline in the Light Side (and is never pleased, too, which is why he keeps asking people to join him in ruling the galaxy (and now we know that’s code for something different altogether)).
Not totally convinced? Who is the one wearing the Mondo Bondage Gimp suit that literally sounds like a breath-play fetishist’s wet dream, I ask you?
Still not totally convinced? Look at what Leia says close to the beginning of ANH: “I should have expected to find you [ie, Tarkin] holding Vader’s leash.”
Really, what more needs to be said?
Maybe, instead of wasting time with pointless duels, Obi-Wan should simply have said “You’re not the Messiah, you’re a very naughty boy” and taken it from there.
Search your hearts. You know it to be true.

*howls with laughter*
Awesome. And so accurate. BRILLIANT! Hee hee hee hee!
FWIW: Anna’s LJ is well worth reading if you can get her to friend you. She doesn’t post often, when she does, it’s good stuff.