About Ealasaid

Ealasaid is a technical writer, freelance movie reviewer, bookbinder, and geek-of-many-trades based in Portland, OR.

War

Directed by: Philip G. Atwell Starring: Jason Statham, Jet Li, Devon Aoki Rated: R for sequences of strong bloody violence, sexuality/nudity and language. Parental Notes: This mediocre film is very violent, with nudity and sexuality sprinkled throughout. Not one for the kiddies.

Stardust

Directed by: Matthew Vaughn Starring: Charlie Cox, Ian McKellan, Sienna Miller, Mark Strong, Michelle Pfeiffer, Claire Daines, Robert DeNiro Rated: PG-13 for some fantasy violence and risque humor. Parental Notes: This is not a graphic film at all, though some of the fantasy violence might scare younger children.

The Bourne Ultimatum

Directed by: Paul Greengrass Starring: Matt Damon, Julia Stiles, David Strathairn, Joan Allen, Rated: PG-13 for violence and intense sequences of action. Parental Notes: This is about the same as the two previous films in terms of violence — car chases and crashes, hand-to-hand combat, and some use of guns. The violence is fairly bloodless, but the sequences are long and intense. There’s very little in the way of sensuality except for a flashback to a scene from the first film.

The Simpsons Movie

Directed by: David Silverman Starring: Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright, Yeardley Smith, Harry Shearer, Hank Azaria Rated: PG-13 for irreverent humor throughout. Parental Notes: If you let your kids watch “The Simpsons,” you’re probably going to be okay with the movie. It’s only a wee bit more on the rude side than the show.

I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry

Directed by: Dennis Dugan Starring: Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Jessica Biel, Steve Buscemi Rated: PG-13 for crude sexual content throughout, nudity, language and drug references. (re-rated; originally rated R) Parental Notes: This is a difficult film to offer advice about for parents. It’s thoroughly crude and has more than its fair share of stupid stereotypes, but it lacks graphic violence or sexual content. Whether you’re comfortable with your kids seeing it will probably depend heavily on your opinion of stupid comedies and homosexuality.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Directed by: David Yates Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Imelda Staunton, Evanna Lynch, Matthew Lewis, Katie Leung, Michael Gambon Rated: PG-13 for sequences of fantasy violence and frightening images. Parental Notes: This film is definitely darker, scarier, and more maturely-themed than the previous films, so use caution when taking younger children to see it. If they could handle the book, they can probably handle the film (though they’ll likely be peeved by the many cuts the screenwriter made in the story).

Ratatouille

Directed by: Brad Bird Starring: Brian Dennehy, Janeane Garofalo, Brad Garrett, Ian Holm, Peter O’Toole, Patton Oswalt, Lou Romano Rated: G Parental Notes: This is a fantastic film for all ages, provided you don’t have a phobia of rats or kitchen knives.

This Film is not yet Rated

Directed by: Kirby Dick Rated: an early version was rated NC-17 for some graphic sexual content, but the rating was surrendered. Parental Notes: Like most documentaries, this is not a film aimed at kids. They will find it dull, and parents will be uncomfortable explaining the scenes that include sex and violence. Teenagers will find it informative, though parents uncomfortable with frank talk about sexuality may be unwilling to let their teens watch it.

Evan Almighty

Directed by: Tom Shadyac Starring: Steve Carell, Lauren Graham, John Goodman, Morgan Freeman Rated: PG for mild rude humor and some peril. Parental Notes: Like the ratings note says, this is PG for a little rude humor (bird poop jokes, for example) and some peril (like frightened folks getting taken for a watery ride in the ark), but it’s probably fine for all but the littlest ones.

Ocean’s 13

Directed by: Steven Soderbergh Starring: Casey Affleck, Ellen Barkin, Scott Caan, Vincent Cassel, Don Cheadle, George Clooney, Matt Damon, Andy Garcia, Elliott Gould, Eddie Izzard, Eddie Jemison, Bernie Mac, Al Pacino, David Paymer, Brad Pitt, Shaobo Qin, Carl Reiner, Julian Sands Rated: PG-13 for brief sensuality. Parental Notes: This is a fairly straightforward caper film — all talk and scheming, little-to-no violence or sex. There’s some heavy breathing and innuendo in a few scenes, but that’s about it. It will likely go over the heads of youngsters, and it’s innocuous for older kids.