About Ealasaid

Ealasaid is a technical writer, freelance movie reviewer, bookbinder, and geek-of-many-trades based in Portland, OR.

School for Scoundrels

Directed by: Todd Phillips Starring: Billy Bob Thornton, Jon Heder, Jacinda Barrett, Matt Walsh, Horatio Sanz, Todd Louiso Rated: PG-13 for language, crude and sexual content, and some violence. Parental Notes: This is a safe movie for teens and mature preteens, though offhand mentions of rape may make it inappropriate for some.

Crank

Written and Directed by: Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor Starring: Jason Statham, Amy Smart, Efren Ramirez, Jose Pablo Cantillo, Dwight Yoakam Rated: R for strong violence, pervasive language, sexuality, nudity and drug use. Parental Notes: Teenagers will likely enjoy this madhouse of action, but parents may be concerned about the irreverence and casual public sex and drug use in the film.

The Wicker Man

Directed by: Neil LaBute Starring: Nicholas Cage, Kate Beahan, Ellen Burstyn, Frances Conroy Rated: PG-13 for disturbing images and violence, language and thematic issues. Parental Notes: This is a pretty hard PG-13, but still too soft for an R. The film is suspenseful and has disturbing imagery including a decomposed corpse and a person burning to death. Human sacrifice is a central theme. Probably not suitable for tweens or younger.

The Illusionist

Written and Directed by: Neil Burger Starring: Edward Norton, Jessica Biel, Paul Giamatti, Rufus Sewel Rated: PG-13 for some sexuality and violence. Parental Notes: Fine for teens and most preteens; neither the violence nor the sexuality is very graphic.

Snakes on a Plane

Directed by: David R. Ellis Starring: Samuel L. Jackson, Julianna Margulies, Nathan Phillips Rated: R for language, a scene of sexuality and drug use, and intense sequences of terror and violence. Parental Notes: This is a fine movie for teens and mature preteens, provided they can handle aggressive snakes and people dying somewhat gruesomely from snakebite. It’s not a good movie for youngsters.

Pulse

Directed by: Jim Sonzero Starring: Kristen Bell, Ian Somerhalder, Christina Milian, Rick Gonzalez, Jonathan Tucker, Rated: PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi terror, disturbing images, language, sensuality and thematic material. Parental Notes: This is probably too spooky a film for youngsters, but teens and mature preteens will likely get a kick out of it if they like scary movies.

Clerks II

Written and Directed by: Kevin Smith Starring: Brian O’Halloran, Jeff Anderson, Rosario Dawson, Jason Mewes, Kevin Smith, Trevor Fehrman, Jennifer Schwalbach Smith Rated: Rated R for pervasive sexual and crude content including aberrant sexuality, strong language and some drug material. Parental Notes: This is not a kids movie. Sure, Kevin Smith is a funny guy, but this takes the vulgarity of the original “Clerks” and pushes it to the next level. There’s discussion of various outrageous sex acts and a scene including bestiality. Mature teens can probably handle it, but this is a movie for grownups.

The Devil Wears Prada

Directed by: David Frankel Starring: Meryl Streep, Anne Hathaway, Emily Blunt, Stanley Tucci Rated: PG-13 for some sensuality. Parental Notes: This is a good movie for teens, especially those who have jobs. Preteens may enjoy it as well. There is very little in the way of language or sex, and then sensuality mentioned in the rating is very minor. The only questionable content is the incredibly thin actresses splattered all over the screen.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest

Directed by: Gore Verbinski Starring: Johnny Depp, Keira Knightley, Orlando Bloom, Jonathan Pryce, Bill Nighy, Rated: PG-13 for intense sequences of adventure violence, including frightening images. Parental Notes: As with the first film, this is not a movie for youngsters. The bad guys are scary monsters, and there’s plenty of icky stuff on screen — crows going after corpses, people falling to their deaths as a ship is pulled in half by a giant monster, and so on. Preteens and teens will likely be fine, but the pre-school crowd is best left at home and you should probably think twice before taking elementary students.