About Ealasaid

Ealasaid is a technical writer, freelance movie reviewer, bookbinder, and geek-of-many-trades based in Portland, OR.

Kingdom of Heaven

Directed by: Ridley Scott Starring: Orlando Bloom, David Thewlis, Liam Neeson, Eva Green, Marton Csokas, Alexander Siddig, Brendan Gleeson, Ghassan Massoud , Jeremy Irons, Edward Norton, Edward Norton Rated: R for strong violence and epic warfare Parental notes: There is quite a bit of violence here, and while it’s not as gruesome as some R-rated films out there, it’s still plenty gory. Youngsters should be kept away, but mature teens can probably handle it.

Kung Fu Hustle

Written and directed by: Stephen Chow Starring: Stephen Chow, Wah Yuen, Qiu Yuen, Kwok Kuen Chan Rated: R for sequences of strong stylized action and violence. Parental Notes: This is an insanely violent film, but the violence is largely the cartoonish, light-hearted violence of Saturday morning cartoons. Some gangster violence early in the film makes it inappropriate for youngsters, but teens and mature preteens will probably love it.

The Amityville Horror

Directed by: Andrew Douglas Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Melissa George, Jesse James, Jimmy Bennett, Chloe Moretz, Philip Baker Hall Rated: R for violence, disturbing images, language, brief sexuality and drug use Parental Notes: Although this film isn’t as viscerally disgusting as many modern horror films, it does include a number of disturbing images and has earned its R rating. It is definitely unsuitable for youngsters, including young teens.

Sahara

Directed by: Breck Eisner Starring: Matthew McConaughey, Penelope Cruz, Steve Zahn, Lambert Wilson, William H. Macy Rated: PG-13 for action violence. Parental Notes: This is standard summer PG-13 fare. The violence is mostly of the big explosions and fast chases sort, with plenty of scattered gunfire, but it’s all in good fun and generally not dark or cruel in tone. There are deaths, but not gruesome ones. This is a good film for preteens and teens who like summer action flicks.

Sin City

Directed by: Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miller, with “Guest Director: Quentin Tarantino Starring: Bruce Willis, Mickey Rourke, Clive Owen, Rosario Dawson, and plenty of others. Rated: R for sustained strong stylized violence, nudity and sexual content including dialogue Parental Notes: The only reason this film is rated R and not NC-17 is because the comic-book style presentation makes the extreme violence and sexuality a bit more palatable. This is not a film for children, or for most adults either, come to that. This makes “Kill Bill” seem cartoonish. Comics are not necessarily children’s material, and “Sin City” is the poster child for comics that are potentially damaging to children.

Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous

Directed by: John Pasquin Starring: Sandra Bullock, Regina King, Diedrick Bader, Treat Williams, Heather Burns, William Shatner Rated: PG-13 for sexual references and a scene of violence. Parental Notes: This film is fairly innocuous for most preteens. There is a little violence but nothing graphic and some sexual references but nothing all that explicit.

Guess Who?

Directed by: Kevin Rodney Sullivan Starring: Bernie Mac, Ashton Kutcher, Judith Scott, Zoe Saldana Rated: PG-13 for sex-related humor Parental Notes: This is a fairly innocuous film overall. There are some lewd references and some on-screen goofing around but nothing explicit.

Be Cool

Directed by: F. Gary Gray Starring: John Travolta, Uma thurman, Vince Vaughn, Cedric the Entertainer, Andre 3000, Robert Pastorelli, Christina Milian, Harvey Keitel, The Rock. Rated: PG-13 for violence, sensuality, and language including sexual references. Parental Notes: This film is fine for most pre-teens. It’s out of the interest range of kids who are too young for the violence and language.

Millions

Directed by: Danny Boyle Starring: Alex Etel, Lewis McGibbon, James Nesbitt, Daisy Donovan Rated: PG for thematic elements, language, some peril and mild sensuality Parental Notes: This is a sweet film for all ages. Youngsters may be a trifle distressed by the villain, who is a menacing fellow, but there’s almost no actual violence and the “mild sensuality” of the rating involves the sexual tension between the boys’ father and his new girlfriend. We see the two of them wake up in bed together, but nothing explicit.